As I was leaving work yesterday, I found myself saying something to a coworker that was appalling. I wanted to clamp my hand over my mouth and take back every word I said. I said something unkind about another teacher who may or may not have heard me. She’s always been kind, but it seems that it didn’t matter.
I know we all say things that we shouldn’t, but I just can’t shake this feeling of shame. I’m upset with myself for falling into the peer pressure and not doing what I know was right – just plain old keeping my trap shut.
I have amended my goals for the year in order to add: be kinder to others and find friends that I am proud to have. I recently reheard the phrase: “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” Looking onto some of my friends now, I wonder if that’s the future I want. I have fun with them and I trust them, but is their life what I want for my own? Where should I draw the line? I think I need to take some time to refocus on myself on becoming who I want to be. An adult that I’m proud of.