The Gym, Part 2

As a part of my “Get Your Life Back In Order” overhaul, I scheduled in three days this week to go to the gym. I have not gone in close to 2 months, although in that time I’ve worked out at home a whopping one time. One. It’s no wonder that I had no energy to do anything and my muscles were turning into flab.

Walking into the gym yesterday was hard. I was worried; scared. I was afraid that it would be too busy and there would be no machines. I was nervous about going to the gym alone for the first time ever. I’m not sure what I thought would happen, since this was not a life-altering half hour. It was only 30 minutes on the elliptical. I’ll tell you what I was not expecting, though: The gym owner hollering at me as I was leaving, “Good to see you! It’s been a really long time!” Oh, yes he did.

Today, it was easier. Walking in the door was still hard. Butterflies are taking up residence in my stomach, but with a deep breath I went in anyway. I waved at the owner, found an empty machine and zoned out for half an hour. I didn’t die. My world didn’t end. My only regret is forgetting my water bottle. There’s always Thursday, right?

Overwhelming

So many times, something will happen and I’ll think, “I should blog that.” But then I start thinking that there’s no one reading my blog anymore because it’s been months since I last wrote a post that held any value or merit. I don’t have children or a husband. I work from 6:45am until 5:30pm everyday, not counting my time at the gym or anything else that life throws my way. I come home and crash, rarely having the energy to complete any projects. Regardless of all of that, what I feel and what I experience are important. They are noteworthy. One day I want to look back at my 27th year of life and wonder how I did it all. No doubt there will be times that I wonder, “What were you thinking??” But I want that record, even if it is venting over a stressful day at work, posting an awesome lesson template that I found for the Daily 5, or raving over a new product.

For my birthday, my fantastic mother-in-law (kinda? the boyfriend’s mom) gave me an hour long massage. As I laid on the table this past weekend, I was forced to stop and think. No TV in the background. No laundry to do. No half-done projects in my face. And, I realized something…I am too hard on myself. I worry that no one is reading my blog, so I don’t write. I worry that I won’t have time to finish a load of laundry tonight, so I don’t start. I worry that I will offend someone if I speak the truth of my feelings, so I let them believe I agree. I am a classic example of a first-born. I am a perfectionist and hate producing anything less. I have to do better. I have to give myself some credit.

My life right now is out of control. I am overwhelmed. And, that’s okay. I have a plan, a list, and an idea. I went back to the gym today after two months. I wrote a blog post even though no one may read it. I am going to put a load of laundry into the washing machine just in case I have time to put it in the dryer. I am going to bake banana muffins with those bananas that are going bad just because I can.

And so, I am taking my life back. I am taking control. Here is the start of something great

Seeing that a Pilot steers the ship in which we sail, who will never allow us to perish even in the midst of shipwrecks, there is no reason why our minds should be overwhelmed with fear and overcome with weariness. – John Calvin

Ron Clark: What teachers really want to tell parents

It’s been ages since I wrote a post for all types of personal and professional reasons, but I just had to jump in and post this article that I read today. I applaud Ron Clark for what he has done for education and what he writes for CNN…

Editor’s note: Ron Clark, author of “The End of Molasses Classes: Getting Our Kids Unstuck — 101 Extraordinary Solutions for Parents and Teachers,” has been named “American Teacher of the Year” by Disney and was Oprah Winfrey’s pick as her “Phenomenal Man.” He founded The Ron Clark Academy, which educators from around the world have visited to learn.

(CNN) — This summer, I met a principal who was recently named as the administrator of the year in her state. She was loved and adored by all, but she told me she was leaving the profession.

I screamed, “You can’t leave us,” and she quite bluntly replied, “Look, if I get an offer to lead a school system of orphans, I will be all over it, but I just can’t deal with parents anymore; they are killing us.”

Click here to continue reading.

A Moment

Do you ever have a moment that causes you rethink everything? Or maybe one that shames you enough to make a change that you know you need to make?

The other day a friend unexpectedly sent her teenage son over to pick up something. I had about 2.5 seconds notice, with no exaggeration. I had been in the throes of laundry and sewing a cushion cover for a chair that had been spray painted so was sitting in the middle of the living room. Those 2.5 seconds provided me with enough time to push a bra under the coffee table. The rest…well, I guess that poor 17 year old boy got an eyeful of what it’s like living as a single girl with a head full of projects and not enough time to finish cleaning up.

Needless to say, my apartment has never sparkled as much as it is now. It is clean with a capital C.

A little of my heart

I neglected my blog last week…a little of which was on purpose. It was, unexpectedly, a week that I needed to look deeper into my heart, find my true feelings on a few matters, and then jump whole-heartedly into my decisions. I’ll explain more of what those are as the week progresses, but I find that I am much happier and more at peace after I have days, weeks, moments, like that. Do you ever get days that you’re more introspective than others?

One thing that’s really been bothering me this week is the abundant use cell phones among the people in my life. Don’t get me wrong – I love my phone and I rely on it heavily. I suppose what concerns me is the constant stream of information and entertainment that they provide. My phone, for all my obsession with it, is not a smart phone and runs the slowest internet possible…sort of like dial-up.

There will be times that I’m with a friend (no one in particular, just any friend) having a great conversation in the car, a restaurant, or even one of our houses. Things will get quiet when I notice they’re checking Facebook on their phone. Is it that important? Are status updates that important that a face-to-face conversation can wait?

I worry that we’re all thinking a million miles a minute and are so busy with what everyone else has going on that we’re losing sight of our human, in person, real life relationships.

I am guilty, too. I place blame on no one. I am not calling anyone out. But in my heart, I worry a little.